She kept singing to her all night. She couldn’t sleep, but the fact was she never slept after that. It was 7 in the morning when Akshat knocked at her room. ‘ Hey! You in there?’ he knocked at her door. ‘Yeah! Coming just wait a sceond’ she replied back from the room. After a minute she opened the door. ‘ Did you sleep well last night? How are you feeling now? I am really sorry that a digged an older wound of yours, I am really sorry I didn’t meant to do so, but….’ Akshat couldn’t complete his sentence, she cut him in between. ‘ I slept well last night ( she lied), I am feeling much better ( she lied again) and it’s ok you didn’t dig any wound, it’s absolutely fine’. She replied his every question and added further ‘ let’s go have breakfast your mother must be waiting for us, and I have some work to do, I need to leave now’. She said with a smile. Hearing her words, Akshat heart sank he couldn’t feel himself in the moment. ‘ Are you leaving, but you are not supposed to leave for one week, otherwise my mother would question, and I could get in trouble’ he said in trembling tone. Hearing his words Smriti smiled at him, and said ‘ Don’t you worry, I am not leaving cause you promised your mother that I would stay here for 1 week, I am just going out for my personal work, if that’s ok with you’ she said. ‘ Aah! That way then you can go’ Akshat said with a sigh of relief. ‘ let’s go have breakfast then…sir’ she said winking her eyes and saluting him. He smiled, and said ‘ let’s go my princess’ she raised her eyebrows and looked at him with surprise and then they both burst into laughter.

At the breakfast table everybody was busy chatting with Smriti, she was calm, peaceful, and very well behaved girl. Akshat’s family kinda of grew fond of her. Everybody else was enjoying their breakfast, but Akshat’s eyes were stuck at Smriti. He couldn’t forget what she told last night. He couldn’t understand what he was feeling in that moment, but he was definitely feeling something, maybe pain, or infatuation for her, he couldn’t take his eyes off. After the breakfast was done, Smriti tried to help with the cleaning, when Akshat’s mother stopped her. ‘ Oh! You don’t need to do all that stuff love, servants will do that’ her mother said in a very polite tone. ‘ Oh! I didn’t knew about that aunty, we used do our stuff ourselves at my home, so I thought….’ she didn’t complete her sentence and stood their shying. His mother looked at her, she so liked Smriti. They both were exchanging silent glance of admiration when Akshat hopped in. ‘ Smriti let’s go!’ Akshat said tying his watch to his left wrist. Before Smriti could say something his mother questioned Akshat, ‘ Where are you taking her Akshat?’ Akshat wasn’t expecting this, but unexpected things are the reality of life. Akshat stood quiet for a while and then said ‘umm… Mumma, Smriti has came for the first time to our city, I am just taking her for the tour’. She came closer to Smriti and said looking at Akshat ‘ Take care of her’ and kissed Smriti’s forehead and went to the kitchen. Smriti was awestruck for a moment but then she came back to reality, and asked Akshat, ‘ Where are you taking me? I said I have some personal work’ she said frowning at him. ‘ I know and that’s why I made an excuse to mother to take you out’. He said explaining her. ‘ Oh! I am so sorry!’ she said in apologetic tone. He smiled at her and said ‘ let’s go’.

They were walking by each other on the streets of Calcutta. They both were awkwardly silent, and then Akshat broke the silence. ‘ Where are we going Smriti?’ he asked. ‘ I don’t know’ she replied cluelessly, By the way which city is this? She asked. ‘ It’s Calcutta ‘ he replied. ‘ it’s quiet change since I was here last time?’ she said gazing at the beauty of the street. ‘ and when were you exactly here the last time?’ he asked in curiosity. ‘ 16 years ago’ she said without a blink. Akshat frowned at himself and said, ‘ oh! You were long gone then’. ‘ Yes!’ she replied. ‘I come to the earth every 16 th year since my death.’ he looked at her surprisingly but kept quiet. They were silent again, and then he said, ‘ Can I ask you something?’ ‘ You are very inquisitive, yes please ask anything’ she replied looking at him. ‘ If Sarang died, you suicide, then how come you are on earth ?’ he asked with all the curiosity he had in him. She looked at him then smiled and then looked away and said nothing. ‘ What? Why are you smiling?’ he asked little irritated. ‘ Nothing’ she replied smiling to herself. And then said ‘ you know! I was expecting this question from you the last night’. ‘ I am sorry if you don’t wanna talk about it’. Akshat said apologizing. ‘ No! It’s ok! It’s a long street, we have plenty of time, you have many questions and I have answers to all of them, so why not!’ she said smiling at him. And about Sarang and mine death she continued. Yes! We died, but life and death is not a puppet game, real life stories are not Romeo and Juliet, in real life suicide is a sin you are punished for. After Sarang’s death I went all dead from inside, I couldn’t last his absence for even one week, at least this is what other people said that about me, but my version is different, so technically I blamed myself for Sarang’s death, he died in front of me saving my life, if I wouldn’t have taken that gun from him he wouldn’t have died, and secondly I loved him, and I tell you Akshat Guilt and love is the worst combination, you blame yourself for everything. So remember either be in love or in guilt never mix these feeling they screw your senses. So I was going through the exact situation I explained you right now, the guilt took over me so highly and strongly that I couldn’t stand a sight of me in my own eyes. After Sarang’s death I didn’t left my house for days, I couldn’t survive his death, I couldn’t survive my guilt, I couldn’t survive the pain in my mother’s eyes for me, she knew everything but she couldn’t help either, and I thought it’s better that I suffer alone, why my mother should suffer for my mistakes, so in every possible way I was fit to be punished, and on second thoughts, I won’t lie about that I thought death is the only solution ask for his forgiveness, and an end to my mother’s sufferings. So after a week of his death, I ate some herbs my mother kept for the medicine of a patient and I knew that I was alergic to those herbs, so I had them and gave my life. But trust me the thing I thought was punishment for my deeds turned out to be greatest sin in the eyes of the god. When I died and I was questioned in the court of God the reason of committing suicide the biggest sin. I tried to explain them that I had every reason to suicide but then there I was proven wrong. The Angels said, ‘ you had no right to end your life, that poor guy saved your life and sacrificed himself, you should have lived for him, and talking about your mother, she was just trying to give you some time to cope up with the pain, she was not suffering then, but yes she is suffering now, they showed me how mother struggled after my death, she couldn’t bear my death. But as they say God is very merciful, he did understood the state of mind I was suffering through. So he helped me out through my punishment. I was sent to purgatory for a long time to cleanse my soul for the sin I did and… She was about to complete her sentence when Akshat asked, ‘ What’s Purgatory?’ she looked at him and said, ‘ its place where souls are sent to cleanse themselves from the sin’. ‘ Ok! Then how did you end up here?’ ‘ when I was in Purgatory, I felt pure but that was not my punishment, my punishment was yet to come, one day I was called back from purgatory and was told that my mother’s life is about to end, and I will be the one who will be her passage to heaven. That was the biggest punishment for me, I could never see my mother dying, but what I was ordered was need to be done, and when my mother’s time came, I got there to take her soul to heaven, and I did it, but I can’t explain you how difficult that was for me. When my punishment was done, then I started searching for Sarang in heaven, and then I was told that, the day Sarang died he was reborn again, because he died saving a life. I was so depressed on hearing that, I think I shouldn’t but I was. And nothing is hidden by God. And he never leaves his children disheartened. My mother was in heaven, I completed my punishment, I cleansed my soul in Purgatory, all I had with me was ‘ Sarang’. One day an angel told me that there was a reason I was made the brick to the wall. God never leaves us disappointed. The angel told me that, Sarang is reborn the day he died, but as soon as you sucide there was a curse put on him, because you couldn’t care much for the life he gave you, I was sad, but then the angel said don’t be sad, ‘ Everything is his plan, he died at age of 16 saving you, so he is reborn again, and you as a medium will be on Earth doing your job, and you can also search for him…’ Smriti was interrupted again. ‘ What was the curse on him’ Akshat asked out of curiosity. ‘ You curious soul’ she said and continued… ‘ the curse was if I am not able to find him till his 16th birthday he will die, and reborn again, and the difficult part is yet to come, I was allowed on earth as medium for the time period of six months, meaning when the reborn Sarang is 15years and 6 months old, then I am allowed on Earth, and I am given only 6 months to find him, if I am not able to then I am called back to heaven. And he dies and reborn, and I wait for next 16 years. So this way God punished me and also helped me out, and I have already failed two times in searching him, I don’t know whether I will able to search him this time or not’ she said with a depressing tone. ‘ How much time you have left on Earth?’ he asked. ‘ I have been searching for him from last six months, I have searched every country, every corner of the world but haven’t found him, and now I have only 4 days left, to be called back to heaven, I need to find him’. She replied. ‘ How will you recognise him, even if you find him? Akshat questioned back. I don’t know, all I know is he has been born at every 16 years, that’s it, I was told, that I would know when I meet him, thats it’ she said clicking her tongue.’ ‘ When did he died?’ he asked. ‘ in the year 1902 dated 20th march’. She said and went silent, thinking about how would she find him in 4 days, or she will loose him again, on the other hand Akshat decided to search Sarang for her, he wanted to help her, but why? He didn’t knew!….

‘ I will find you baby’ she said to herself…

To be continued…

– Madhu